Doomgriever's Blog

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Develop Games. Play Games. Mind Games.

Rest My Tired Eyes

MindPosted by Doomgriever Aug 31, 2017 01:25
Now Listening To: Michael Nau - While You Stand


I have been away for a while. Taking a break from work more or less completely now (other than checking mail and so on).


I just need to think through things. I'm so fucking tired, exhausted, broke, autumn darkness looming over me, soon moving apartments and lots of prepping required..

REALM: Didn't get nearly as much sales the first month+ as I would have hoped, I mean we talk 1% or less.. Not that I thought it would be an amazing AAA selling hit! But come'on 200 sales? 200?

Taxes and what I get:
Steam + Trade Tax + Personal Tax = 72%. What is left for "me" is 28%.. What I mean by "me": There are plenty of expenses that goes into a company, server, software, domain, promotional costs, lunch, equippment etc..

I can tell you that 28% of 200 sales doesn't even count for a fraction of the cost that I've put into the game. Not to mention the ammount I've sadly had to borrow from friends and family.


I've developed a stress symptom that comes and goes. A forcefull blinking tics. I keep blinking 3 times as often as normal, and not soft blinks, I press my eyes down hard. I have no control over it. It sucks, but I'm burnt out and overworked and I'm sure it'll go away after some vacation time... oh right I don't have the money :(


GOG (Good Old Games) turned down REALM, understandably so, but I thought I might as well give it a shot. No hard feelings, and they always write a kind e-mail about the good parts of the projects so that's nice. But that also means I have one less income source.

I did upload the project to however, gave me 1 sale! Wohoo! Thanks Owl-Turd-Comics guy, I can now buy myself 1 cup of noodles and a soymilk for my tea!

What Else?:

Hmm. I have a lot of game ideas that are on ice at the moment. I'm in no condition (health and financial) to begin a new project. At times I'm feeling like calling it quits. But at the same time I'm not healthy enough to get a normal 9-5 job. Insomnia, depression, adhd, social-phobia really narows down the search results for jobs... Also any kind of welfare are not possible for me, I've tried countless of times, I always fall between the chairs and never get help from them.

So what now? Now we wait for REALM to start rolling in traction a bit.
If it does: I'll get back to work, finish up the 3DRPG patch that I've started, and then begin next project.
If it doesn't: Who knows..?