MindPosted by Doomgriever Aug 31, 2017 01:25Now Listening To: Michael Nau - While You Stand
I have been away for a while. Taking a break from work more or less completely now (other than checking mail and so on).RANT:
I just need to think through things. I'm so fucking tired, exhausted, broke, autumn darkness looming over me, soon moving apartments and lots of prepping required..REALM:
Didn't get nearly as much sales the first month+ as I would have hoped, I mean we talk 1% or less.. Not that I thought it would be an amazing AAA selling hit! But come'on 200 sales? 200?
Taxes and what I get:
Steam + Trade Tax + Personal Tax = 72%. What is left for "me" is 28%.. What I mean by "me": There are plenty of expenses that goes into a company, server, software, domain, promotional costs, lunch, equippment etc..
I can tell you that 28% of 200 sales doesn't even count for a fraction of the cost that I've put into the game. Not to mention the ammount I've sadly had to borrow from friends and family.STRESS:
I've developed a stress symptom that comes and goes. A forcefull blinking tics. I keep blinking 3 times as often as normal, and not soft blinks, I press my eyes down hard. I have no control over it. It sucks, but I'm burnt out and overworked and I'm sure it'll go away after some vacation time... oh right I don't have the money :( GOG:
GOG (Good Old Games) turned down REALM, understandably so, but I thought I might as well give it a shot. No hard feelings, and they always write a kind e-mail about the good parts of the projects so that's nice. But that also means I have one less income source.
I did upload the project to itch.io however, gave me 1 sale! Wohoo! Thanks Owl-Turd-Comics guy, I can now buy myself 1 cup of noodles and a soymilk for my tea!
Hmm. I have a lot of game ideas that are on ice at the moment. I'm in no condition (health and financial) to begin a new project. At times I'm feeling like calling it quits. But at the same time I'm not healthy enough to get a normal 9-5 job. Insomnia, depression, adhd, social-phobia really narows down the search results for jobs... Also any kind of welfare are not possible for me, I've tried countless of times, I always fall between the chairs and never get help from them. So what now?
Now we wait for REALM to start rolling in traction a bit.If it does:
I'll get back to work, finish up the 3DRPG patch that I've started, and then begin next project.If it doesn't:
MindPosted by Doomgriever Aug 02, 2017 03:27Now Listening to: Kirk Knight - FlexibleStatus:
Working 20-25% ish on 3DRPG. It's too damn hot / humid / bad air circulation to be able to work properly during days, so I mainly focus on working late evenings and nights. It's going fine, doing some small changes, re-write stuff. All in all I'm positive it's going to be a good change for the game. But in this pace, it's going to take forever!Anyways:
I fried some Tofu in super hot chili sauce, mixed with lettuce, tomatos, cucumber and made a spicy refreshing sallad (yeah you bet I drenched that shit in garlic dressing!). Chili works wonders on depression, highly recommend! The science:
When the body tries to deal with the Capsaicin, it
releases endorphins.The Pseudo-Science:
No pain no gain! ;) Get your ass out of that comfort-zone. What else?:
I googled some reviews for "This Strange Realm Of Mine
". I was pleasantly surprised it had a mention in "Rock, Paper, Shotgun
" and "Rely On Horror
". *Yay intensifies*
Where I live it's been a draught for weeks, groundwater reserves critical, no-watering-the-plants rules etc. Let there be rain again! No rain again? Oh no..This Strange Realm Of Mine: Rat's Poem - May
I think I'll go watch some Taboo now. Tom Hardy is damn good in that show!
Also, have to catch up with the new Rick & Morty season!
MindPosted by Doomgriever Jul 31, 2017 02:21Now Listening to: Kendrick Lamar - PRIDEIntro:
Darkness is looming again. I love summer, but I hate the feeling of dread I get late in summer. It's pitch-black outside, autumn is slowly creeping in. With autumn comes darkness, cold, windy rainy days, and then my least desired time of the year, winter (which lasts for what feels like atleast ½ a year).
"But it's August, not even close to winter?" - That's what I'd like to feel, but the lump in the throat and deep-rooted feeling of anxiety is very convincing of the opposite.
GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder ( https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad.htm ), is a more or less constant feeling of anxiety, not connected to something specific. I'm medicated with SSRIs and helps (a lot) but I don't want to go too high in dosage as I feel claustrophobic by it's effect. So every now and then the anxiety spills over, especially during autumn / winter. Not so much during spring and early summer *So I Got That Goin For Me Which Is Nice
I don't know. I've slowly started to work again, but I'll update that in another post.